Listening... when someone is listening with the self:
They are thinking about what they want to say.
They are thinking that they already know what they are listening to.
They are impatient.
Listening... when someone is listening without the self:
They are not thinking about what they want to say.
They are not thinking that they already know what they are listening to,
even if they have heard the same thing over and over and over again.
They are not impatient.
As a teacher who is carefully watching a student listen, a good teacher can see into the student's mind to reveal whether the student is full of themselves or empty (of themselves); the qualities of the self are apparent to a good teacher.